blog-o-chu: SAVE A TURKEY DAY, YOU CREEPY CRAP HEAD!

Click <http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp> here: Turkey Trivia Quiz

funny crappy joke

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her
brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best pl ace to be when you're sad is
Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge.. .mostl y sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that
held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the
inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber,
not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I
can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do
while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation
from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller
coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but
nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1 -- You believe in Santa Claus.
2 -- You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3 -- You are Santa Claus.
4 -- You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is. . .having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is. . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is. . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

stupid daily human crappy tricks

A man carries a victim of the gun attack at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus railway station in Mumbai, India. (Rajanish Kakade / Associated Press)

George W. Bush has less than two months left in office. (Photo: Evan Vucci / AP)

Obama: "Understand where the vision for change comes from, first and foremost ... It comes from me. That's my job, is to provide a vision in terms of where we are going, and to make sure, then, that my team is implementing." (Photo: Stan Honda / AFP/Getty Images)

Obama to encourage huge shift towards green tech.
(Photo: Getty Images)

San Francisco - California officials will investigate accusations that the Mormon Church neglected to report a battery of nonmonetary contributions - including phone banks, a Web site and commercials - on behalf of a ballot measure to ban same-sex marriage.